Grudge Match

I knew I’d seen him creep back into the shadows, I was positive. I wasn’t losing my mind–of this I was sure.

It’s quite startling, too. Especially when you’re in what you always thought was a safe place. You can’t eat. You can’t sleep. You can’t breath without wondering whether or not the bastard is out there lurking somewhere. Sleepless nights. Caffeine-fueled days with the requisite jittery nerves. Always seeing things out of the corner of your eye. Jumping at the slightest noise.

I’d begged Trash to go out and have a look–he did, armed with a weapon, to boot. He saw nothing–not a thing, and looked at me with the infamous ‘God. She’s sooooooooooooooo paranoid’ Glare of Exasperation.

Then he laughed.

LAUGHED at me.

I knew I was on my own. Fear gnawed away at my soul every night. Soon, though, as always happens, you forget to be scared. You forget he’s out there somewhere.

You forget–and you drop your guard.

And that’s when he strikes. Maybe he wants your cash. Maybe he’s looking for jewelry and electronics to hock for The Habit.

Hell, he might be ready to kill, for all you know.

I knew, though. I KNEW. Somewhere in the back of my brain, at least.

I’d gone out to do something quickly–I wasn’t even dressed properly. Pajamas and bare feet. Hell, who needs to get all gussied up for mundane chores about the house?? Often is the time I’ve walked the dog in my (endearing, I swear to GOD endearing) Tinkerbell pj bottoms with a t-shirt and my fuzzy faux-leopard slippers. Ponytail/bun hybrid completing the *cough* endearing ensemble.

Quite the sexpot, oui??

Oh, oui oui.

I walked out and there he was–I saw him standing there, bold as anything.

His back was to me though, and he hadn’t heard me in my barefooted state.

I panicked. I wasn’t sure what to do.

Should I run??

Should I stay and defend myself??

Screaming would be useless. There was no one around to hear.

I was on my own.

Utterly alone.

I decided I had to take a stand.

I gritted my deeth, let out a war cry, and attacked.

I brought the glass ice cream bowl down on his head.

I kept bashing him and bashing him til I saw nothing but pulp and brains.

I don’t regret it. I have no remorse over my actions. I’d do it again if push came to shove. A girl has every right to defend herself, god dammit.

I will not, WILL NOT, allow my life to be endangered.

Especially not by a three inch long motherfucking beetle.