Distraction

Midnight :Decide to try and write blog post again.

Get caught up in Scrubs rerun until 12:30. Read paper online during commercials.

12:30 : Decide that YES, I will now definitely write said post.

First, go into kitchen and put dishes away. Wrap up meatloaf and chicken that Captain Shitforbrains left out (though, thankfully, with covers on them). Kill another ten flies in various areas of the kitchen. Flies whose origin are un-bloody-known, as I have a tidy kitchen and do not have garbage laying about. Where the fuck-fuck-fuckety-fuck are they coming from?? Have torn apart kitchen many times, checked windowsills for cracks, checked for dead animals–ANYTHING  that would explain this sudden infestation. Have even sneakily made my way down back staircase to see if EFL is root of fly problem, as she was a few months ago with fruit-fly epidemic; wherein I found a tote bag on her back steps with rotting oranges and apples. Because keeping the fruit in the fridge, according to EFL, makes it go bad quicker!! Letting it sit in a bowl on her table–for three months time, mind you–is the only way to guarantee fresh produce. Letting it rot in a tote bag on the back steps further guarantees same. There is no rotting anything on her back stairs. Not so much as a stray cat or an ex-tenant. Further vexing me. It is a riddle for the ages. And the makers of Raid and that hideous looking fly-paper.

12:45 :Go back into room to write post. Get distracted when checking for pictures that Ma has said are online from nephew’s game tonight. See a man with an odd name in the paper and google it out of sheer boredom. Then, for some inexplicable reason, check obituaries. Where was I?? Oh yes–a post!! But first decide that best way to force myself to concentrate and post is to do nails as I type.

1:00 : Yes. Doing nails is a good idea, but!!–will first have a shower. Go into loo and decide that Current Shower System needs fixing yet again. We have one of those detachable shower heads and the top of the hose has broken. The only way to take a shower without turning the entire bathroom into the fucking rain forest is by tying a towel around the bit that’s broken. Of course, the sensible thing to do would be to actually GO  to Home Depot or similar and buy a new one. Someone keeps forgetting to do this. We aren’t naming names, though. Especially as it might sound suspiciously like MY name.

1:05 :Oog!! If memory serves we still have the very, VERY old shower-head that was originally there. And memory serves because I saw the bloody thing some time last week. Search up and down for said shower-head. No bloody luck. Decide to tighten up Current System and commence with shower. Turn on water and watch some shoot up and out over the shower stall. Frantically rearrange towel so water stays in shower stall. Bash myself in the head for messing with system that was perfectly adequate to begin with.

1:30 :Oog!! Frasier is on!! Vow to prep nails as I watch Frasier re-run. Forget vow three seconds later and generally noodle about. Spaz badly and realize I’ve forgotten to put my sneaker back on. I hate wearing shoes in the house so, for the moment, only put on left sneaker so foot is saved from the beating it will take when I inevitably spaz (as have been badly spazzing for past four days) and bash it into the dresser while thrash about AND as I Type A Post and Do My Nails. Run-hobble into kitchen for cup of tea and laugh at sneaker scenario and decide its a Reverse Michael Jackson look for epileptics. Realize I’m a madwoman.

2:00 : I. Will. Paint. Nails. And. Post!!

2:01 :Trash asks where his gameboy playstation nintendo DS whatever-it-is thingimabob is located. Had secretly set it aside a week or two ago on Annie’s orders since he hardly plays the bloody thing anymore. She says it’s ancient and he’ll never notice that she’s borrowed it. Hadn’t really intended to let Annie borrow it. Was just hoping she’d forget about it altogether. Try to remember where I hid said game system. I know it’s in my dresser somewhere.

2:05 : Have found gameboynintendowhateveritisthingie in cubby-type drawer in top bit of dresser. In a surprising turn of events find old shower-head in there, as well. Now remember that the shower-head , for some reason, on top of Old TV. And when I was switching out the Old TV for The Semi-Newer TV from the other room had just chucked it in the drawer as it was convenient.

2:15 : Will. Post. NOW. Need more tea first, though. While waiting for kettle to boil notice that built-in China Closet windows look a little dingy. Get out Windex and clean windows inside and out. Then realize how god awful cabinets look. Wash all cabinet doors. Doing this reminds me of a similar scenario the other night, wherein I’d vowed to write something at 2 AM; I ended up in the Room of Death cleaning all seven windows and respective windowsills and then, obviously, all the woodwork. So I take the rag and bucket and attack kitchen woodwork. As you do. Also look for any allergy pills laying about as have broken out in hives AGAIN.

3 AM :Decide I have issues. Wonder if admitting that I’m watching Southpark re-runs would ruin my street-cred. Open notepad window and start post about fly situation, but then get sidetracked when looking up one turn of phrase I’d intended to use. Somehow end up spending twenty minutes reading about the Battle of the Bulge. Decide I can’t be funny bitching about flies. Contemplate bitching about the spazzing and how, earlier today I’d had the very real thought that if they don’t get this sorted by the time I’m 70 or so, one spaz will break my hip and at least three ribs in a heartbeat. Then realize that spazzing in general is an overdone topic here and if I’m sick of whinging about it, it surely goes to follow that people would be sick of reading about it.

3:30 :Can’t recall with absolute clarity if I’ve taken spaztard drugs for the evening. Count out pills to be sure. And, as always, I HAVE  taken them at some point previous. Am just too stupid to remember WHEN.

3:35 :Oog!! Notepad window is still there!! I was going to write. And do my nails!!

4:00 :Have spent last half hour or so looking up genealogy stuff. Learned nothing new and am now even more annoyed.

4:15 : Still have not done fucking nails. Nor written a bloody post. Give up entirely.