Something Blue

Did I tell you lot my exciting news back a few months ago??

I don’t think I did–and allow me to shout it from the rooftops–I have moved into the 21st century!!

All I need is a space-age tinfoil suit and a hovercraft now. Like, totally.

Yea verily, no longer am I stopped from playing online games, downloading various applications, or SURFING THE BLOODY INTERNET by snarky little signs, blips, and pop-ups that shout ‘Dude. Windows 98?? Are you SHITTING me?? You are SO not allowed to use this firewall/game/relevant update to every other puter system known to mankind EXCEPT YOURS’

I am only just now getting used to the bizarre new-fangledness of Weendows Veesta.

I can watch all the silly movies the neph and the niece have you-tubed. WITHOUT IT SKIPPING!!

I surfed, scanned, and chatted all at once. WITH NARY A LAG!!

I mean, for gods sake people, I can now wheel-scroll down through notepad.

(Although I was quite perturbed to discover that Word isn’t part of the package and god DAMMIT that’s what I use for proper writing. Not that I’ve done any in the past god knows when. Because my brain no longer works. I mean, sure, I can use Works instead, but I’ve been using Word for HOW long?? Bastards)

We shall not speak of Spider Solitaire. Or Mah Jong Titans. Or various other games on Social Websites that may or may not end with Wars and such as I SWORE were ridiculous and what was the point?? I mean you click to attack someone?? That’s ALL?? And buy a few things?? This is nothing like Toejam and Earl!! I am not going to play these games.

And I am totally not addicted. Ahem.

By the by, the flat panel screen thingie?? Wicked sweet. Because now my vikings and penguins once again have a home on my dresser/desk. Because my old monitor, which was roughly the size of Rhode Island, has vacated the premises.

(And by ‘vacated’ I mean ’sits in the corner of the living room waiting for me to find the proper hook-ups to get some stuff off of the Ancient Puter and onto this Magical Machine’)

Oh. And because I can watch DVDs on here–and who needs cable when one can go to Hulu and Joost?! And every other channel known to mankind. Except the BBC whom, apparently, are veryfuckingsnotty about people outside of the UK watching their precious TV shows.

(Having said that I do so sincerely hope the sites I mentioned aren’t equally as snotty because, well, then I’ll just look like an idiot, won’t I??)

Anyway–behold!!–the new nerve center of Spaztardicus Wrecks*

*One snide remark about my Colin Firth wallpaper and death shall ensue. Consider yourself warned.